We arrived home yesterday tea time from a few days break to the Wirral in the motorhome. We had a super relaxing time. We parked right beside the park and the toilet facilities. Which was super convenient unless we wanted to leave the site because the children were having such a marvelous time that they rarely wanted to leave. Being close to the toilet block was also convenient because there seems to be a problem with the van at the moment and we don't have any hot water! We had showers every day which was really comfortable for me as I'm beginning to find the bath a bit squished. The baby has been doing nice clear movements each day usually morning and evening which is wonderful because I am now having the reassurance I have been waiting for. I thought it might be difficult fitting in the van with my growing belly but we managed fine. We had chance to totally de-stress which was great and I felt the benefit, however, we walked a lot and had plenty of exercise and so I still felt shattered most of the time! Luna was waking up quite a lot for milk and so I was only getting disturbed sleep. Last night, however, she slept quite a lot better and I feel much fresher and more awake today. I feel as though I might be getting a chest infection because I have needed to take my inhaler several times during the night. But last night was better!

I can't pretend I thought we had any hope of getting to the surgery for 9am, because lately we've been lucky to leave the house for midday, but we managed it in fact we arrived 5 minutes early!!!! It is amazing what you can do when you have to.
We were sent straight in, which was great. Everything went well but Sharon advised that I take iron suppliments because my something to do with my iron levels is low and I might end up feeling tired. Nigel commented that I already feel tired which is very true. Yesterday we went Ice Skating, then we walked around the shops and later the children had a 15 minute run around on the park and I thought I was dying by the end of that. I mean really exhausted! So perhaps that explains why. I am about to surf the net for iron rich foods because all I can remember ATM is dark chocolate, (and I'm definately not defficient in that!). I believe that a diet alteration is a much more fool proof method of raising iron levels than taking suppliments with who knows what in them.
We were able to listen to the heartbeat, no problem, which the children enjoyed but HRH seemed really delighted!
On Saturday, I weighed myself on my Dad's scales and was horrified to discover that I was almost 11 stone. I know we've had tons of chocolate and chocolate cake due to the time of year, (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!). But I was still disappointed, which is why I haven't posted about it before now. I felt sure that Sharon would moan about it and probably accuse me of having diabeties or some-such-like. However, this mornign I stepped onto the scales and to my delight I discovered that I have only gained 4 pounds! I'm only 10 1/2 stone. ( I really must learn to work in kilos because I'm sure that by the time this little baby is old enough to read this stones will be completely obsolete! I thing I was 66!)

This morning I was awoken by the baby wiggling at 6:10am. I never thought this would make me happy but it did. However, we didn't surface until 7:10am which was just about right. We got dressed straight away and I cannot believe the amount we've managed to get done. We've been to thye surgery, we dropped Nigel off at Dad's shop, we've wahsed up, I have a loaf baking and a line full of washing out and it is only 10:30! I must make more of an effort to do this each day!

I have just woken up from quiet a good nights sleep. Luna only disturbed me a couple of times and so I spent a few minutes with HRH to help Nigel out who appeared to be having a more tricky time settling him off to sleep.
My tummy is continuing to grow, which is wonderful. A few nights ago Nigel found me a pillow to put underneath my bump during the night. It is a long pillow so I can rest my tummy and my leg on it and I have been sleeping much more soundly since. I feel so much more comfortable. However, when I am in Amaris's bed feeding her there isn't really room for us both and my big pillow so I'm not as settled in her bed. However, she is sleeping well ATM so I'm not worried right now. But I'll have to sort something out for later in the pregnancy.
The baby continues to wiggle nicely and is thankfully getting stronger, and I continue to worry for nothing on a regular basis!
I seem to have some energy back as yesterday I had a super cleaning day. I cleaned the living room and kitchen (and they were a mess!) I hoovered and mopped all of the floors and I also managed to clean the bathroom before bathing the children! Although this took all day it wasn't so long ago it would have taken me all week!
I have a midwife appointment this Thursday and I realised that I have gained a fair old amount of weight! I'm sure I must have gained about a stone already! I have no problem with this because I know this is because I have eaten large amounts of chocolate and chocolate cake due to it being Ostara and then Easter! I have considered the possibility that she will say I've gained too much. I may very well say mind your own business if she does! I'm always too big or too small, I've given up expecting to be the right size!

I have developed a liking for soy sauce! I enjoy it on most carbohydrate meals and even put some on my baked bean toastie yesterday. I'm not sure what the appeal is but the delicious salty taste is irresistible ATM! I love cravings they get weirder and weirder!
I also did some more yoga yesterday. Nigel has been joining me because he has been suffering with a trapped nerve in his back, however, it has resulted in Nigel having to stand awkward in order to get comfortable and so I have more incentive than usual!

I had the most dreadful nights sleep last night. I actually didn't mind stopping up with HRH for a while when he was awake for his usually spell around the witching hour, because I was suffering with such painful restless legs that I was happier staying awake than trying to relax and sleep. I am not sure what time it was that I eventually fell asleep but I know I saw 3am!
I was lying in bed last night, wide awake, twitching madly every time I attempted relaxing thinking, 'I'm so happy to be doing this as long as my baby is safe and healthy!' I'm not sure I'll feel like that tomorrow if I don't sleep again tonight but we'll see. :o)
Actually apart from a good rest this morning and a short nap this afternoon I have had bags of energy today. I have hoovered all of downstairs, made a loaf of bread, cooked dinner, played in the garden with the children, done a super painting activity with the children whereby they painted whatever had inspired then from our visit to the art gallery yesterday, washed, dried and put away 5 loads of washing, changed HRH's bed sheet and Angel and Luna's bed clothes and all of the usual jobs as well! *Patting myself on the back......and yawning*
I have also managed to do some Yoga this evening!

I've just been doing some research on the Internet to see if we could find some ultrasound photos illustrating the size and stage of development of the baby.
The scan pictures weren't great but we did discover that the baby is approximately 10cms long and is developing laguno all over it's skin and also it has begun to grasp, suck and swallow!!!! How sweet, bless!

I have been feeling regular movements. They mainly occur during the evening when I'm relaxing properly. Despite this, I haven't been feeling much more confident to be honest I really am doing my own head in!
Despite feeling certain that the baby must be fine, I am still worrying about the future. I wonder whether I'll worry less after the 20 week scan. I drempt the other night that we had a huge party because we reached 21 weeks! Maybe that'll happen.
People keep telling me that it is normal to worry and that I will probably continue worrying until I am holding my baby in my arms! I usually try to tell the children each time I feel a movement during the day because I think the reassurance does them good, even if I am refusing to feel positive for some reason. Perhaps it is simply hormonal! Each time I mention movements one of the children will cheer and say 'yay it's still alive.' Each time they do this I reply 'of course it is, everything will be fine this time. Even the doctor said so.' But I can't seem to get this into my thick head!

Talking of 'thick' my middle seems to be positively huge! I will meassure it soon. As of tomorrow I'm in my 15th week! See we're getting there aren't we!

I have been suffering with terrible paranoia! Every day or two I find myself panicking that the baby hasn't moved all day. Then I start to question whether the moves I felt the night before were genuine or whether I imagined them! I know this sounds crazy but I have been putting myself through hell worrying about everything. I think I might investigate using Bach flower remedies to calm my nerves because all of this fretting can't possibly be good for the baby. I'm sure that once I start fretting the baby doesn't move because of all of the negative emotions.
Once I am calm and I've finally managed to reassure myself that I didn't imagine the previous moves the baby wakes up again. Nigel has been great. He offers to take me to the hospital to double check whenever I feel worried.Yesterday I came very close to actually going. perhaps that was the worst I've felt so far. I was really scared. I was close to tears and I thought the only way I could make myself feel better was to go to the hospital. However, I managed to recognise my insane rambling for what they were before making a fool of myself at the hospital.

I need to try to sort myself out because I really don't want them to think I'm worried unnecessarily because I don't want to ruin my chance of a home birth. But on the other hand I need to be confident that everything is okay.
I really must get meditating and doing yoga because there is a chance that this would help a lot.